I'm full of love for the world today!

SEE-SAWS

Been an interesting week, full of ups and downs. Up for the most part (gotta love those lazy days of suntanning!) but those downs have been buggars. I hate those brief moments in time where frustrations run rampant, and common sense flies out the window, going who knows where for a time. Silly how it can happen like that, especially when you know you're being childish and stupid. But thankfully it all works out in the end, and life becomes alright once again.

GONE FOR THE MOMENT

So the week ends on a good note. I think it began on a good note too but I can't quite remember. That doesn't surprise me in the least actually, considering the week I've had. Been quite painful really. It's not anymore and for that I will be forever grateful, but it was pretty bad there for awhile. 54 hours to be exact! 54 hours of blinding pain, and then another couple days of off and on pain. It's better now, I'm doing much better now. I don't feel like wearing an eye mask 24 hours a day anymore! And I was able to fall asleep last night without either crying myself to sleep or taking a sleeping pill! I've done both of those in recent days and it wasn't fun. Lotta bit frustrating actually. I sure do appreciate this reprieve - hope it lasts for awhile. Feeling a bit optimistic about it at the moment actually. But then I'm going to bed in just a moment so we'll have to see how I'm feeling about it all when I wake up in the morning. Funny how things can change overnight :)

LIFE IN THE SLOW LANE

So life is good. Life is slow, but slow is good, and therefore life is good. Not much happening, definitely nothing dramatic, and the lack of such is blissful. Now ofcourse I could be complaining about that in a month or a week, or maybe even tomorrow! but today it's quite alright. I'm feeling like I've got a handle on myself and my surroundings again. Last week was bad. I was inwardly rebelling against all my surroundings. You who know me know that I'll go into work when I'm pretty much falling over because I just have this thing about it, like I'm the only one who can get everything done. But last week I was in such a mental funk that I went home sick twice! *GASP!* To think that I actually let myself leave things. And the week before that there was a day where I didn't even go in at all! But that was then. I think I've got a grip on it now. I'm still not thrilled with how it's going, but I keep reminding myself that it's only another 3 months, 1 week, and 1 day til I'm done with it :) But no worries, I'm not insane enough to start counting how many minutes are left! I might start counting how many minutes are left til I get that glorious week off, but counting to the very end is just a little too crazy, even for me. So yup, today is a good day, and I'm liking it.

GETTING SLOWLY BETTER

Well it's another new day and it's gonna be gorgeous!! Loads of sunshine, warm warm temperatures, and the possibility of suntanning - what a good day! :) It helps that I'm feeling better too. Mind, body and spirit seem to be somewhat in sync for the first time in a long long time and that's a feeling that just can't be beat. Makes it a lot easier to smile, which is a wonderful thing because I'm really hoping that I don't get those worry lines in the forehead that create a trench right between my eyebrows. I really don't want to look grumpy my entire life! Frowning also creates headaches and goodness knows I get enough of those already. So smiling is good, and I'm going to do a lot of that. Thankfully, today is the kind of day that works in my favor. I don't have to do a blasted thing if I don't want to. I could sit here and listen to my new Rod Stewart cd (gotta love him!) all day and keep my mind an absolute blank and that would be great. Or I could go clean a bit, suntan a bit, and then get ready to go to Vegas - HAHAHAHA :) gotta love Vegas too. But yeah, whatever I do, I'll be a lot happier than I have been, and that's a very good thing.

A GLIMMER OF HOPE

Well the good news is that things can only get better from here. Life is not much fun at the moment. I find that I'm frustrated with pretty much everything, and patience has been alluding me so far. Today is not great, but tomorrow is a new day and I have faith that it will be better. I don't see myself as very optimistic right now, but if I don't have even a little hope, I know that there's no chance things will return to normal. And things must return to normal. There's just no other option. I have to shake off whatever bug I'm dealing with (even if it means a trip to the dreaded doctor!) and I need to start going to work instead of making myself work. And speaking of returning to normal, the weather needs a little help too :) What is with SNOW in MAY????? Quite sick if you ask me! Return to sunshine please!