NOT THERE YET

So I'm starting to think that I'm never going to get my act together and get my life sorted out. Why some things have to be so hard is way beyond my limited amount of knowledge. So I guess it makes sense then that things keep falling out of place. Oh they're alright for awhile, but inevitably everything falls apart again, and then again, and honestly I'm quite sick of going around in circles. Right now life is supposed to be easy because it only gets harder from here. But when that which is supposed to be easy becomes hard, I find it difficult to keep my focus. No wonder I become sick of myself at times! If I can't even keep promises that I make to myself, I'm a lot worse off than I first thought. Which must be pretty bad seeing as how I don't think I'm doing so well at all. There are solutions to every problem, mine included, but I don't have much faith in them. Tried them, have tried most everything actually, and the solutions just don't seem to work for very long. I could go to extreme measures because I'm pretty sure that would work, but there'd be too much hurt involved in that, and I'd honestly rather not go there. On the other hand, however, I'm really not sure how much longer I can keep hurting myself. Maybe it's time to do for my spirit what green tea does for the body - get rid of the all the junk that's inside.