THE LONG WEEKEND

This weekend is going to be crazy crazy busy. I have to work because of two different conferences, plus Steve is coming home. Having to juggle work, and spending time with my boyfriend is going to be a little nuts, but I'm sure I'll manage. I'll just drag him along with me, so it's all good! :) I really wish I didn't have to work though. I'd much rather spend all my time with Steve (well, duh!). After all, he's only here for two days, and the events here go for four. So it really wouldn't be too hard for someone else to work those two days and then I could do the other two. But whatever, I've done it many times before so I guess I'm the one who knows what's going on. And the upside to it is that I get to take Tuesday off. So it's not completely horrible and like I said, Steve will be around to keep me company. And that's always a very good thing!

THE DAISY EFFECT

I'm very very happy today. And really there wasn't really anything that happened today that should make me this happy. We had to make a ton of beds at work today and my body is just done in. Totally sore, have no desire to move at all. But for some reason I'm feeling really good! Know what I blame it on? I blame it on the red daisy. Yup, the red daisy. I didn't even know there was such a thing until yesterday! If you don't know about them, look up the meaning of them. So sweet, so sweet! Has such an uplifting effect really. Such a simple thing, but it works wonders.

The most beautiful things in life are unseen. That is why we cry, kiss, pray, and dream with our eyes closed.

THE MAGIC NUMBER

Is 4! Just four more weeks of work and then I'm done here forever! Isn't that just the greatest news?!?! Well I think it is, and seeing as how it's my job, I guess what I think goes! Just in this instance though, don't want to seem as though I know everything :) But yeah, the happy day is set for July 21st, and it can't come soon enough. By that time I'll have been working here for 13.5 months and that is just a few too many. So it's more than time to move on to something else. Kinda exciting, kinda nervewracking to move into that phase of my life, but I'll die if I have to stay here and keep on doing what I've been doing. So the number of weeks is 4, the number of actual shifts is about 20. Wish it was a smaller number, I do better with single digits, but it'll pass quickly enough. It's going to be a busy busy couple of months alright!

A BETTER DAY?

Well life has even out a little bit in the last few days. Not a whole lot, but a little, and I'll take what I can get. I'm still really wrestling with restlessness, but I'm finding that it comes and goes, so it's not as terrible a thing as I thought it was going to be. However, when it's bad, it's BAD. And I'm really feeling it today, so I'm trying hard to distract myself with other things. I'm still not liking it here and I don't expect that to change, but it's easier knowing that I'm leaving in just a little while. One of the hardest parts is being away from Steve. I hate that and can't wait til we both live in Winnipeg. If anyone says that long distance is easy, then that person is not in a healthy relationship! I just have to keep telling myself that it's only for a little while, even if it feels much much longer than that. Which isn't an easy thing to do either cuz most of the time my brain just will not listen to what my mouth is saying! Ah well. Taking it day by day and we'll see how it goes.

In other news...today is Sidewalk Days! It's fairly lame but it's fun to go to nonetheless. I don't think I've ever missed a year in who knows how long, but I will next year, and so you see why I have to go this year! It's raining though so I doubt we'll be there very long. But that's ok. It gets me out of the house and doing something with my time and that's always a good thing :)

NOT LIVING

Impatience is getting the better of me today. I'm trying really hard to be happy here, but it's not working at all. The most important part of my life isn't here anymore, and I find that with that missing, I just have no desire to be here for any longer. And I mean I don't want to be here for another day! Pack me up, move me out, I want to go! And so the knowledge that I can't is driving me up the wall. I just feel itchy all over, antsy to get out of here. I know that moving is going to be overwhelming, but staying here is killing me a little more every day. And I know this may just sound like a rant, but seriously, it's emotionally draining me to stay here. And I can't understand why others can't understand that. It's not just a matter of me wanting to move as soon as possible. I want to do that so that I can get settled in and into a sort of routine before school starts. But I also need to go as soon as possible. I'm not alive here, not really. I sometimes feel like I'm just a shell that's sort of existing, but not living. *shake it off* Anyways! That's enough blather. Time to find something productive to do.

BACK TO THE GRIND

Well the weekend went by way too fast. Before I was ready for it we were on the way home again. For the most part it was a really good weekend. There was some frustration, some anger, some misunderstanding, but a whole lot of fun too. J and I found an apartment, yea!! and we can move in at the beginning of August, so I just might be moving out sooner than first expected. And to tell the truth, I don't mind that thought at all! After the apartment got taken care of, we were able to do the fun stuff. Went to The Forks :) Only like my most favorite place in the city! Didn't get to spend enough time there, but I'll take a day once I move and stay there til I'm sick of it. And shopping at St. Vital. So nice to have a mall that actually has stores in it! And so the weekend passed much too quickly. Didn't get enough time with Lis and Steve, but what can you do about it. Steve actually might come out here in a month or so for a weekend, but I won't see Lissa for who knows how long yet and that totally sucks. But what sucks even more is that I've only been home for one day and it feels like I never went anywhere. Life here is such a dull routine that nothing ever changes. Can't wait for it to end. Can't do a countdown yet cuz I don't know how much longer it's going to be. . .

TOO MUCH

I can't believe I haven't written in so long. So much has been going on, most of it stuff that I don't feel like re-writing. I'm waiting for life to settle down. Ever since school let out everything's been up in the air, time moving so quickly that I feel like I can't catch a proper breath. So many changes and I can't say as I like any of them. I'm not completely miserable, I'm just not happy with the situation. I wish time would speed up, I have things I want to do and people (or a specific person) that I want to see. I hate being stuck here where nothing happens and nothing is bound to (other than the shattered table! Now that caused a few minutes of excitement!). I want it to be 3 days from now. I want to be in Winnipeg seeing my sister and boyfriend, even if it is only for a couple of days. I would move out there now if I reasonably could. Life here just has no appeal anymore. None whatsoever. Ofcourse, I suppose that life wouldn't settle down for quite awhile if I was to move soon. No, it would be even more upside-down. So maybe I need to be here for a bit longer. Just don't expect me to be happy about it!